Your Guide to Dating in College
Dating in college is hard. And that’s the simple truth! You’re navigating a new world while transitioning into adulthood, and throwing relationships into the mix makes things even more confusing. At College Unfiltered, we’ve experienced this confusion firsthand with everything from situationships and casual flings, to more committed relationships. So although dating will look different for everyone, we’ve put together some undoubted rules to help you navigate your college romance.
1. School Comes First
First of all, you’re going to college for a degree, not a relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of meeting new people and going on dates, but you should never let that impact your education. If you realize that your grades are dropping and you’re missing assignments, that’s a definite sign to take a look at your priorities and do some adjusting. If you’re hanging out with someone almost every day, consider scaling it back to once a week.
Study dates are a great way to try and combine your school-life and love-life if you need to reprioritize. If you’re too busy with classes to go on dates, try suggesting hitting up a local coffee shop together to get some work done. Plus, if someone is willing to study with you, it might be a sign that they care about your success in school—which is definitely a good sign!
2. Set Clear Goals
Are you looking for a life partner, or another one night stand? Figuring out what you want in terms of a relationship is an important step in dating, and it will save you from a lot of awkward situations. By defining your own dating goals, you will be able to communicate your intentions more easily to a partner so that they know exactly what you are trying to get from them. If you find that your goals really don’t match up (i.e. maybe you want to keep dating after college and they don’t) it’s best to avoid that relationship altogether before you're in too deep.
If you aren’t sure what your dating goals are, journaling is a great way to start getting your ideas down and sorting through your needs. You might think long-term about your career goals after college and where a relationship fits into that, or short-term about how a relationship will impact your social life and extracurricular activities while in college.
3. Don’t Neglect Yourself
Before you get into a new relationship, you need to make sure you have a healthy relationship with yourself. It's especially important to make sure you set aside time for yourself in college, since everything is so fast paced. You should never allow a person or relationship to take up so much of your time that you stop taking care of your own basic needs; so, if that’s the case, take a step back and prioritize yourself more. Block out time in your schedule where you can have a mental break. Whether that includes practicing one of your hobbies, taking a bath, or treating yourself to a nice meal, find something that takes your mind off of the world around you.
4. Be Safe
When some people enter college, all of their safety precautions just fly out the window. Don’t let that be you! You are going to be surrounded by thousands of new people in college, and odds are a handful of those people don’t have the best intentions. If you meet someone you might be interested in, try hanging out with them on campus a few times to get to know them better before you go on a date elsewhere. This is especially important for people you meet on dating apps—always suggest meeting somewhere public (like on campus) before you consider hanging out with them in private. You can also ask a friend to stay nearby just in case anything goes wrong or you feel uncomfortable. Remember to trust your gut when dating, and if something feels off with someone, don’t be afraid to turn them down!
5. Have Fun
At the end of the day, dating in college should be fun! This is a time for you to discover who you are and what you want—and you’re surrounded by thousands of people trying to figure out the same things. If you are hesitant to enter the dating scene, or anxious about meeting new people, don’t be afraid to just put yourself out there. Your college years are something you only experience once, so join school clubs, go to events, talk to that cute person in your math class. Remember that you don’t have obligations towards anyone, and you don’t even have to look for a relationship if you don’t want to. If your college dating life stops being fun and becomes something that you stress over...take a look back at our rules and start over. Good luck!
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